malo gente y bueno gente: redux

I can be a pretty adventurous guy. I am not what you call risk adverse. Be it skiing, climbing, mountain biking, going into remote areas requiring self reliance, being solo. There is a clarity and focus on the moment when the mind empties there is no pain, no fear, no time, only a fullness and calm. As Shiva said, “thinking nothing, will limited-self unlimit.” At these points I feel I achieve great things and nobody is there and I am joyous. This last little adventure was different and not what I am typically looking for. . . but I did go looking for it. I was curious ... and there are few cats in Mexico.

I am not generally a believer in bad people but bad circumstances creating bad people. The border region I was on is different from other “remote” places I have been in the sense that nobody is from there. These are not longstanding traditional communities. People are there because they have nothing else – otherwise why would you move to a place with nothing that has nothing? Land is cheap and available “with papers,” meaning you have a title to your land. But for most land with papers is out of reach but there is still land – it will just never be your land. You will work with your machete clearing land for someone that owns the land, “el patron.” And land you clear for yourself will one day no longer be yours or for your children. Because someone else will acquire the paper. Not a pretty situation, but that is why roads are built into jungles.

Some men in the area have migrated to the United States (some to Belize) and then returned, perhaps with some cash and a new truck. People have tasted the forbidden fruit or glimpsed the tree over the wall. They know what they are missing and a desire is created that cannot be fulfilled. Alberto referred to this as a disease. Jose said Nacho had this disease. I think this disease has made Jose an inebriate. Easy for me to say, I have access. However, I was struck by the high levels of mistrust and suspicion. For these reasons I took no photos because I did not want my camera to be seen. I thought it would be nice for me take a photo of Alberto's family and give as a gift . . . but no. Similarly, I could have shown the curious Betin photos of all he asked about on my computer . . . but no. Not wise things to do.

I was not worried about the family but that others may see or hear. That was hard because I wanted to give and share with them something other than my money. As Alberto and I departed into a dawning night his wife told me to be careful with her husband. She told me that their house was now my house and I was always welcome under their roof, to please return. She saw I was a good person. I thanked them again. She said it is not me to be thanked but clutching her heart pointed into the dark sky saying “el unico” there is nothing else.

They were good and loving people and all the more so for their situation. She reminded me of something I read.

Shiva says: devotion frees. he is right.
devotion means the beloved comes first. and, the beloved can only be the divine. the divine is also called god. god has no form and all forms are his.
when you see god in everyone's eyes you are free.
the beyond is unknowable by any human. god is known through this creation.
life is god.
and non-existence is the source of life. god is all that exists in all realms.
you are not. your separation is a play of god.
soon you will remember and laugh.

I have yet to laugh, but i hope to return the favor someday.